Life in a refugee camp is not a pleasant thing, even in an affluent country like Germany, but what makes it more difficult is the feeling of uncertainty over the future facing thousands of Armenians trapped in what many describe as a large prison.
"We have no complaints in as far as how we are treated. We have a roof over our heads, and we get enough financial help from the authorities not to go hungry. But for how long? "Said a young Armenian single mother who left her homeland, Armenia, out of desperation.
"We feel trapped. We can get deported at any time. But where can we go? To another European country? We cannot return to Armenia because we cannot feed our families. Even the highly educated are often unemployed. We are trapped in a vicious circle," said her next-door neighbor.
In the past few years, thousands of Armenians have sought refuge in Germany. Neither the Armenian Apostolic Church nor the Armenian Embassy knows exactly how big the Armenian refugee population is, but estimates range from 15,000 to 20,000.
They are scattered across Germany, living in housing complexes provided by the local city authorities. In this particular building where a few Armenian families live, housing consists of single rooms much like a one star hotel.
Even in the largest towns with already established Armenian communities, the refugees say they have found little sympathy. "They don't want to have much to do with us. There are no Armenian refugee outreach organizations and the communities are not organized enough to deal with our situation," said a woman who came to Germany recently.
With the few hundred German marks they get from the government, families have to provide their own food which they cook in tiny kitchenettes. Their neighbors are other refugees from such trouble spots as the former Yugoslav republic, Ethiopia and other poor countries.
For the Armenian families, it's the isolation and the long idle days and months if not years that creates the heaviest burden. At one refugee center in Bochum, a small university town in west central Germany, I had the opportunity to spend several hours with a group of Armenians, including families and single men and women, who have no employment, no friends and little contact with the outside world, especially other Armenians.
Despite the friendly environment in which the interviews were carried out, most refused to give their names.
"It is very humiliating to be here. I don't want my family and friends to know how desperate we are," said a mother whose three young children have already started using more German than Armenian in their daily conversations.
"I had no choice but to leave Armenia. I had no employment and my family had no way of supporting us. 1 don't care what happens to me, but here I hope my children will get an education and have a better life," one of the women said.
Under German law, it is easy to apply for a refugee status, but that is just a first step. According to the Armenian refugees themselves, 97 percent of the applications are turned down.
After the rejection, some apply again, but the majority go into hiding after a second rejection out of fear of being deported. Those who cannot afford a lawyer and are forced to stay in hiding often get involved in crime and many end up in prison.
But even if their refugee status is confirmed, their chances of getting German citizenship are next to nil. The best many can hope for is some kind of a permanent residency which will give them a chance to work.
Anna, who spoke on condition that her real name be withheld, said she was a widow and came to Germany with her 11-year old son after a long journey which started in Georgia and went through Switzerland and France.
"I had obtained a tourist visa for Switzerland but they did not help me stay there. I was deported and made my way to France. There too I had no luck and finally I made it to Germany. I have applied for refugee status and have already been rejected once. I don't know what's going to happen now," she said. Her brother, who had just joined her, said the German authorities had granted him a special permission to stay for health reasons, but that too was not a solution to his long term status.
"On my way to Germany, I had to cross the border from the Czech Republic at night. It was the most frightening experience in my life. There were many families with us, and on the night I came across, an Armenian child drowned in the river and the family had to return.
"It is not easy to talk about what happened that night. I still cannot sleep well. Why do we have to be in this situation," he asked with tears in his eyes.
Elsewhere in the same building, a young Armenian woman prepares to leave for a nearby hospital for her kidney dialysis treatment.
"I was desperate in Armenia. I did not have the money and the Armenian health authorities were totally oblivious to my situation. I need to get three dialysis sessions a week. What else could I have done?" she asked.
Like many other Armenians, she too had to pay a large sum of money to middlemen to get to Germany. "I spent everything I had. At least here I get the medical treatment and am alive. My husband sold his small store to join me. The only bright thing in my life now is the fact that we are together as a family and I am getting medical help. The future is in God's hands," she said.
Her story is in no way unique.
Another Armenian family had just spent their first month in a refugee camp when the father of the household died of cancer, leaving behind a wife and teenage daughter.
"I'm always worried over my girl. She is 15 and both the school she attends and the building where we live are full of people from countries I have not even heard of before. We have nothing in common with them.
"I'm a very conservative Armenian mother, but I cannot keep her locked up in the house all the time. All I can do is make sure she does not go with the wrong crowd. What else can I do?" she said.
As much as the established Armenian community members say that the newcomers tend to remain isolated, the refugees also have their reasons for the lack of regular contact.
"German laws are very strict when it comes to what a refugee can or cannot do. For example, we are not allowed to move freely in the country. In fact, we cannot go further than a 30 kilometer radius from our place of residence. The refugees are mostly scattered across the country, and it's not easy to find other Armenians," she said.
"We want to go to an Armenian church, but what if the church is outside our 30 kilometer limit?? We want to send our children to Armenian community functions, but what if they are in another town? What can we do?" said another mother with young children.
"Our children mix only with non-Armenians most of the time and it is sad that they are quickly forgetting their mother tongue," she said.
On special occasions, like religious holidays, some refugees are granted permission to go to another town but only if they get invitations from a parish priest or a resident Armenian family.
A group of Armenian Refugees in Germany.
